"I want to be the person you’re scared to lose."
It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s the sound I heard when I was 9 and my father slammed the front door so hard behind him I swear to god it shook the whole house. For the next 3 years I watched my mother break her teeth on vodka bottles. I think she stopped breathing when he left. I think part of her died. I think he took her heart with him when he walked out. Her chest is empty, just a shattered mess or cracked ribs and depression pills.
It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s all the blood in the sink. It’s the night that I spent 12 hours in the emergency room waiting to see if my sister was going to be okay, after the boy she loved, told her he didn’t love her anymore. It’s the crying, and the fluorescent lights, and white sneakers and pale faces and shaky breaths and blood. So much blood.
It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s the time that I had to stay up for two days straight with my best friend while she cried and shrieked and threw up on my bedroom floor because her boyfriend fucked his ex. I swear to god she still has tear streaks stained onto her cheeks. I think when you love someone, it never really goes away.
It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s the six weeks we had a substitute in English because our teacher was getting divorced and couldn’t handle getting out of bed. When she came back was smiling. But her hands shook so hard when she held her coffee, you could see that something was broken inside. And sometimes when things break, you can’t fix them. Nothing ever goes back to how it was. I got an A in English that year. I think her head was always spinning too hard to read any essays.
It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s that I do."
It’s not that I don’t love you. (via extrasad)
"I’m the jealous type, you know why? Because remember, we started out as ” just friends” too"
Frank Ocean (via red-lips-on-ice)
"I want to make you feel so fucking happy that you forget every bit of sad in you"
Nahilliam Truspear (via truornah)
"Spoil me with your consistency. Always remain the same you and you won’t have to worry about a different me."
Folarin (via laurenfolarinn)
8 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Fall In Love
You know those times when you just got your heart broken, and you’re thinking, “I should’ve known, I really should’ve known”? Well, I say, yes, you really should have, but there’s nothing you can do about it now, except take a little time off wallowing and then get your ass off that couch and your guard back up. So I’ve decided to help by preparing a list of situations in which falling in love would only result in heartbreak, to help you avoid repeating the same mistake.
1. Don’t fall in love in a relationship that started off with lust
This is the kind of love story that has graced both the big screen and the small screen many, many times and it had fooled a great many of us into thinking that we, too, could fall in love with a one-night stand. But it’s different here in the real world. Just because you lost your heart when you stumbled back to their place that night, that does not mean they did too. They probably know the difference between a physical and an emotional connection and it’s about time you learn a thing or two on the matter too. Or you’ll end up alone. And heartbroken. And miserable.